Okay, this is the bathing suit I want to make!!



Unfortunately, it was created by this awesome Finnish girl who didn't use a pattern. She just made this out of thin air, so I am going to attempt to recreate it, although I need signifigantly more support mammarily (is that a word?) so I don't know if it'll look the same with bra cups in it. We will see, I suppose!

Edit: I think I am going to use this pattern and just alter it to make it a two piece. Brilliant?

They killed my tomatoes, you guys.

I came home yesterday and the huge tree in my front yard had been cut down, just like that, with the tree piled up in a huge mess, sawdust everywhere, and my garden completely trampled and destroyed. No notice from the landlord--although they did call Liam to ask if they could go into our house and use our electricity to "fix the problem in unit 2," presumably the leak. Well I said no, but I guess they figured out a way.

So that was terrible. I left the landlord a message but she has yet to return my call.

Then I went to make dinner, and discovered that the oven/stove has broken. I suspect it actually happened the night before when I was baking a cobbler, because I came in to check on it at one point and the clock had started flashing 12:00 as if it had been turned off and turned back on. Which I didn't really wonder at, since this house is such a piece of shit, but it turns out that whatever happened actually killed the oven/range and it won't produce heat. AWESOME.

Have I mentioned that the property management has all the utilities in their name, and bill the downstairs neighbor and us independently based on their own division of the power usage? That's it's own sketchy situation, but more to the point, we haven't seen and electricity bill in seven weeks. I plan my budget very carefully, and I've consistently held money in my account until it looks like once again I won't be paying them, but if they were to suddenly bill us for two months of service--and by the way, they only give us seven days to pay or else there are hefty late fees--then I won't have the means to pay them. AWESOME.

The storage unit debacle was worth moving over, and that was DAY 1 of us living in this place. Then there were, and continue to be, the mice that they won't get rid of. The smell from the downstairs neighbors unit is terrible and has never gone away, despite their insistence that once they replaced her carpet all would be fine. The windows are all painted shut--some open as much as three inches but there's no window that could actually serve as a fire escape. There's no exhaust vent for the dryer. If we want to use it, we have to set up this elaborate system with the back door so that it's open enough to not set the house on fire but the cats can't escape. It doesn't always work and sometimes they do anyway. AWESOME.

The curtain rods they bought were made out of such flimsy aluminum that they've all bent in half under the weight of the curtains they provided and I've had to replace them.

But, our rental agreement says we won't get our $1,000 deposit back if we leave before we've lived here for 9 months. That would be Oct. 1. I loathe the idea of staying here for another three months. I have to find a way out of here!

The other night I put the hose out for my tomatoes (which are enormous and happy) and let it run for about 40 minutes when my downstairs neighbor came running up to tell us her floor was flooding again. She's had several broken pipes so that was her first thought, but I turned off the faucet outside and the leak stopped. She is in the basement, flush up against the cement foundation wall that has a huge crack all along the side of it and more cracks on the bottom, so my suspicion is that the foundation is so shot that by me watering my garden the water seeped right through the ground and through the cracks in the cement. My neighbor told me that the property management company actually caused the crack when they tried to power-wash the surface of it once, but they never fixed it.

That makes sense on one hand, but on the other hand, we live in Oregon. It's not like this was the first time the ground had gotten wet, so why now?

My other theory is that it wasn't actually the hose that cause the leak but the outside faucet it's self. Maybe there's a leakage problem with that pipe. That was certainly the longest I'd let the faucet run, so she might not have notice before.

Either way, it's just reason #1,041 for us to move as soon as we've been here long enough to get our deposits back. Which is too bad.

So I'm not totally sure what I weighed to start with, but I would estimate that I've lost 16 pounds since I started weight watchers, and I've gone down like, one and a half sizes. But my measurements haven't changed at all! How does that make sense?

Well, whatever. Since I've reached 15 lbs I've actually reached the goal I set out to when I started, thinking only of hanging out with Liam's fam in a bathing suit and the ill effects of that, but I'm in it for the long haul now, I guess. I am enjoying eating better (although with summer being beer drinking season it's started to get a little harder) but I am officially joining a gym this afternoon so I'm upping the ante. And of course, looking better is nice too. I am really amazed at my willingness to be physically active, especially in public, but I am thinking that I've FINALLY gotten through the life-long paranoia that people are all staring at the fat girl trying to exercise thinking "who does she think she is?! She is too fat to do that." Which I know, is counter-intuitive. Try telling that to 8-year-old me, though, or 14-year-old me in those stupid blue jersey shorts in PE.

Last week my sister reached the point where she'd lost 10% of her original weight. Since she's actually in the program, they gave her a keychain. I hope she'll join the gym with me. Wish us luck!

I avoided facebook for a while, but it's the new "thing" and so I tag along just to make sure I'm not completely left behind if lj and twitter were to go the way of myspace-- i.e, pretty much obsolete. But it's TOO social..the main function of facebook is to comment and chat, not to say anything really relevant or for posting things for their own sake. I was about to change my status to something about being in a Mountain Goats mood, and the ominousness of that, but I distinctly didn't want to be crowded with concerns and condolences. That's why I love livejournal, because it's mostly inhabited by like-minded hermits who have the decency to know when to leave someone alone.

Jeez louise, I FINALLY figured out how to get pictures off of my camera. So without any more adieu, here is Franklin! ( Read more... )

I had another bus stop stalker (some of you may remember this incident from about a year ago) yesterday. Walking past the museum parking lot this youngish swarthy guy walked by and smiled, and that seemed totally normal, so I smiled back. But a few blocks later, he pulls out of this other parking lot I'm about to cross, which means he had to drive up from behind me and pull into the lot so he'd come out ahead of me. He looked at me all wiggly-eyebrowed and waved, and I gave him sort of an impatient smile, mostly to make sure he wasn't going to hit me as I crossed, and then he pulls past and whistles--then honks to make sure I REALLY got the idea.

So at this point, I am bothered. My bus stop is on a bridge about two more blocks ahead, so I just keep going. But then I see he has gotten out of his car and is walking parellel to me on the other side of the street, still looking over at me and smiling, receiving nothing from me but a scowly glare, but then he crosses over and says "I was hoping I could keep you company for a while." Like I said, he was young, he wasn't American--my guess would be like, Brazilian or something. He wasn't terribly skeevy except for his complete ignorance of boundries, but I tell him "I appreciate your persistence, but I am not interested in any company right now." He apologized for bothering me, and left.

Notice how I did not give him my name or employer or email address! Go me!

Facebook has lead me into ridiculous thinking. I've spent the day fretting over choices I made 10 years ago, and contemplating roads not taken, etc. But really all I'm doing is convincing myself that the other road contained only the best outcomes, which of course is never entirely true.

If I had stayed in Nevada City and finished high school with the rest of my class instead of testing out, would I have forged stronger bonds with my friends, who have now all drifted away? Or is it my natural tendency to distance myself from people I admire so I don't smother them that lead to the dissolution of friendship? Maybe their own paths would have naturally lead them away anyway, or maybe they had their own motivations for losing touch.

If I'd stayed, would I have gone on to a four-year school and graduated, and traveled and been a professional something or other like I'd always planned? Or were there other circumstances like money and family that would have interfered, just like they did when I went to a two-year and never transfered on? It's 100% possible that I could very well have not gone anywhere and been stuck in Nevada City working at the grocery store for the remainder of my days.

And is it that important? Really, how big of a mistake is it that I never graduated from college?

If I had followed a different path, would I have become a different person, or are some things just inherently part of my identity? And if so, would that automatically negate the possibility of me even making other choices? Is our outcome almost predictable based on our own proclivities and assets and circumstances?

There's no way to know, is there? Nor is there any way to know that any one of those positive could-have-beens would be better than the what-actually-is that I have now. My relationships, my successes, my newfound interests and independence--would I be willing to give up any of these things now just to see what my life could have been? And where would I identify the fork that made all the difference? Life gives us options at almost every moment of the day, and any one of them could be life changing.

I think its going to drive me insane if I try to examine life as a series of choices, because when choices became infinite, they become meaningless. Better then to see it as a glacier, which twists and digs and turns and rises as it goes but stays true to its own course. Nothing is pre-destined, but everything that happens is meant to be. It's time to stop pining for something that never existed at all--an unlived quotient of time.

I luuuhve this blog! It is so adorable it blows my mind.

http://mymilktoof.blogspot.com/

Well, whats been up? Have I mentioned the dog yet? Because if not, OMG we got the best dog! His name is Franklin. I have pictures on my phone, but they are not on the computer yet. Soon, soon!

I've been feeling tired and vaguely ill (minor headache, occasional queasiness) for almost a week now. Everyone has asked me if I am pregnant. I've concluded that the answer is no, so I guess I'm just mysteriously sick. Awesome.

Gabi and I went to Oaks Park on Sunday for a last hangout before she goes to Arizona for the summer. Things are really tough in sixth/seventh grade. I think she had a great day, though.

I've now lost 12 lbs on weight watchers! woot! I am a different dress size and everything.

I thought I had more to say, but I guess "it rained like crazy last Thursday!" isn't really news. Oh well!

God, is there ANY internet service provider that isn't just a capitalist collective of massive assholes?

I haven't posted in about two weeks, and somehow everything is totally different now! In that time,

1) Liam got approved for his green card
2) His mom and stepdad have come and gone
3) my parents have moved out, and are now safely in Arizona
4) meaning we have the whole house to ourselves! We set up our media lounge/technology lab in the third bedroom yesterday
5) I've been seeing real results from the weight watchers thing, even though I totally bit it and squandered the whole week Liam's parents were here because we were eating out and drinking constantly. But even still, my clothes are definitely fitting better, I've dropped at least one pant size, and I've even stepped it up and started exercising. I bought a sports bra, yo! This is unheard of.
6) My vice president resigned, and instead of hiring a replacement for her they are shifting our department around and reevaluating job positions, but in a not scary way. My boss is now director of two departments, which means I'll have less of the departmental support stuff I do and more of the membership managerial stuff she does, and I get an office and I might get a raise. AWES. I'd be happy if they just put me back where I was before the March paycut.
7) The dog Liam really wanted got adopted before we could get our shiz together to get him.
:( But we're still looking, we'll find him a furry friend soon.

We have our meeting with Government Man tomorrow. Very nervous-making. Not that I think they have any reason to deny us or make things complicated, but I just get very nervous when I feel I am being evaluated. I just want it to be over with. But then after that, it should only be a couple of weeks before we are completely done with this whole procedure, Liam can look for a job, and we can stop feeling like we're always living illegally. And I kind of like that it coincides with our big house finally becoming all ours, and so it's like someone said "Okay, you can start your official grown-up life......NOW!"

Other things: I wish my last name was Elfring like this lady here. I'd be all, one ring to rule them all, bitches!

And one more: we watched The Comedians of Comedy documentary the other night, and since then I've actually been sort of jealous that I am NOT a bigger nerd than I already am, and wishing that I could start getting into comic books. (note: this isn't what this movie is actually about.) I've secretly always wanted to be a comic book nerd but it seems like something you have to have a lot of information about before you get into it, because there's a world of crappy comics that savvy readers would know how to avoid.

Wait, did I just say I'm officially a grown up and then follow it up with a LotR reference AND an admission of comic book envy? Because if I'm understanding myself correctly, being a grown-up is awesome.

I love bad local commercials, but this one is especially awesome because it seems like they knew their commercial was going to be shitty no matter what, so they might as well make it funny.

Today is my 23rd day of clandestinely following the Weight Watchers program, without actually going to meetings or paying for anything.( Long post about dieting/I mean Lifestyle Changing. )

Everything is changing so fast! Next week is our immigration hearing, which is intimidating but I think it would be less so if I felt remotely organized. Our date came up much much sooner than we'd planned, so I've had to do a lot of shuffling and scrambling to get vital paperwork in order, but it should just barely work out.

My parents might actually meet the goal of moving out after Mother's Day, but I'm a firm believer in jinxes so I'm not going to say anything's for certain. I've been determined to help my parents get on their feet and on their way to Arizona by the time they'd wanted to, because they have a habit of letting big goals get away from them due to the minutae of every day stuff, and I really wanted them...well, to move out, but also to get themselves somewhere where they might be happy and successful. I haven't given much thought yet to the realization that once they're gone, they're actually gone...and I won't see them for months. I'm very close with my family, so that'll probably be hard for me. But right now, I'm so saturated with their presence I'm looking forward to a break.

Even if they do manage to get moving on time, that break will be short. Liam's mom and stepdad are coming to visit a week later, and I have no idea how that will go. I'll be working most of the time, and I'm pretty sure we'll be entirely broke, but they sprung this visit on us, so if they want to do fancy stuff they can pay for it. The weather ought to be nice, and they'll have a car so we could end up having a really fun time.

I made a great dress last week and I'm wearing it for the first time today. I am so starved for public approval, I'm a little depressed that people haven't been like, falling over themselves over it (which they do a lot, I'm not that full of myself!) because it was pretty technically complicated and I thought I did a good job. Oh well, maybe this just isn't the right crowd. And I have to wear a sweater that doesn't quite work with it because it's sleeveless. I ought to take pictures more often, I bet there's some of you that would like it. Which reminds me, I never took pictures of the house! Someone poke me, maybe I'll manage to get it done some time this week.

Someone who knows Lost please refresh me: Who was the person Hurley got the lottery numbers from? What was that person's connection to the island? There was a reason he went to Australia to try to solve the "curse..." This is first season type shizz, and I can't remember.

I'm back at work after a 10 day break, and I STILL don't have anything to do! I spent a couple of hours updating a spreadsheet, then lent a hand with someone elses's stuff and now...I'm bored. I have meetings later in the week which will generate stuff for me to get done, but in the meantime I've gotten up to date on my blogs and such and am now antsy to go out in the sunshine. Man, I want to be my own boss more than anything in the world.

Augh, what a shitty day so far! I woke up half an hour late, and was forced to dig through dirty laundry to find something to wear and ended up selecting a shirt that that too near a wet towel and now I smell like someone sprayed perfume inside an old tent.

I was notified that the extension I tried to file along with my taxes was rejected, but my tax return was submitted just fine. I was trying to extend it because I'm on a payment plan with my student loan right now and on the way to being out of deferment, but any refunds I get between now and August will be sucked up by the feds...and just to pay the interest and penalties, not even the capital! So I'm hoping I can talk to someone at the IRS tomorrow to get my submitted tax return held or something. I have no idea if that's going to work. This would be the first time I could take advantage of being married on my tax return, and I'd really like $1,100 please!

I have a lot to do at work today since next week is my required furlough and I won't be here for ten days, but I also have a critical personal errand to do and I don't quite know how I'm going to reconcile the two. Gah! I guess it's good I'm getting a vacation, even if it is mandatory and unpaid. :P